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166 Bitch Slap

166 Bitch Slap published on No Comments on 166 Bitch Slap

If you are a Chris Rock fan (and I am a Chris Rock fan), then you have probably seen his bit where he talks about Siegfried and Roy’s tiger attacking Roy.  The punchline goes “That tiger didn’t go crazy.  That tiger went tiger.”  So when Will Smith went on stage to bitch smack Chris – that joke came to mind.  I guess there is some truth to the belief that you more often than not cannot completely excise your true base nature.  As to an assessment of the slap.  Chris did take a cheap shot at Jada but it was in a forum where that is to be expected.  So by virtue of their attendance, Will and Jada arguably assumed the risk of possibly being roasted and at least implicitly consented to that possibility.  On the other hand, I can see smacking someone that insults your wife – I certainly would.  However, if you are gonna smack someone at the Oscar’s, maybe do it with a little more class and a lot less street nigger attitude.  But if Will had done that – we wouldn’t have this funny ass cartoon.  So a big thanks to Will Smith!  Anyhoo, while I do love Will Smith, I gotta assign 75% of the fault to Will and 25% to Chris.  Of course, from a legal perspective – Will committed assault and battery.  The biggest shame is that Chris just took it like a little bitch and didn’t do anything.  Would have been nice to see two niggers on that stage instead of one nigger and a pussy.

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165 Light Is Right

165 Light Is Right published on No Comments on 165 Light Is Right

Pretty steep learning curve getting back into the swing of things after a decade long break.  Anyhoo, here’s the latest BLOOP.  Enjoy – or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. I do this for my amusement not yours.

The topic of today’s strip – RACE!!! That’s all the rage these days. Today’s catch phrase ‘Racism is a reasonable reaction to trifling fools.’ is just a short version of my famous (or infamous, depending on your subjective perspective) quote about racism (see below).

Joe’s View: A lot of people say or use the word racist like it is a bad thing – it isn’t in most cases. The old definition of a racist was someone who believed themselves and / or their race to be superior to others. Yeah, now that’s bad. However, apparently too many white people were scooting out of being labeled racist by simply proclaiming ‘Well I certainly don’t believe I or my race is superior to anyone else.’ So some really retarded cunts decided that just wouldn’t do and that they needed to be able to properly label most white people as racist. So they changed the definition of racist to essentially hating someone because of their race. You can definitely properly fit a lot more people into that definition. However, ironically that change now makes being racist not at all a bad thing because you are most fucking definitely entitled to hate whoever the fuck you want and for what ever fucking reason you want and a bunch of retarded cunts do not get to dictate to you who you can or can not hate nor for what reason. But there may be a bigger goal behind changing the definition of racist – maybe even a unconscious or subconscious effort of some sort. It appears they may be attempting mold societies view of the word ‘racist’ as applied to white people, to make it the functional equivalent of calling a black person a nigger. In other words, they likely want to be able to call us ‘racist’ and have it pack the same punch as when they are called nigger. If so, that’s giant a waste of time and is never gonna happen. Why? Because white people just don’t give a fuck what you call us. Logically speaking, if we hate you and think you are lesser, do you really think it matters to us what you think or that you call us racist? Ya see, what I believe the retarded cunts do not realize is that ironically it is black people themselves who give the word nigger the power that it has. No one has the ability to make a word have any impact on you – you are the one who chooses to let a word have impact on you and you choose to react in a certain way. Blaming the person who calls you nigger for making you feel bad is like blaming the food for making you a fat fuck. A word like nigger only has power because the person being called it cares about being called nigger. Stop caring (and also stop trying to dictate who can and can’t say nigger) and I assure you that being called nigger will never bother you again. That’s what white people do. We just don’t give a fuck what you call us. Think about it – why isn’t cracker offensive to white people? Why doesn’t cracker or honky have the same effect as nigger? Because we just don’t fucking care. You really wanna end racism – stop giving a fuck about it. AIDS use to be a really scary thing – now, not so much so. Why? Because not enough people care about AIDS anymore. Try it sometime – it is liberating and your god given right to be able to choose to not give a fuck and to choose to not allow someone else to have power over you with just a fucking word.

P.S. Donate some money ya cheap bastards and don’t go cheap on me.

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The LURCH Letters: Letter 1 Page 1

The LURCH Letters: Letter 1 Page 1 published on

This is the envelope the the first letter I received came in.

Not sure if the posted letter is the one that came in it because they are all mixed up.  I was gonna organize the letters but after about five minutes, I said ‘fuck this shit’ and quit.  So you basically will get the letters in whatever order they were in when I grabbed them and scanned them.

 

 

This is the back side of the envelope – guess Markster thought it would be funny to cut out a ‘sexually oriented ad’ label and glue it to the back.

The LURCH Letters Intro

The LURCH Letters Intro published on

So what exactly are The LURCH Letters?

Back in me high school days, I had a buddy named Mark Adams and he sorta looked a bit like Lurch (the Charles S. Addams cartoon character from The Addams Family that later became a popular ’60’s TV show – see photo below).  One day someone called him Lurch and the nickname stuck like stink on shit.  He hated it.  So naturally we called him Lurch every chance we got.

We were pals thru highschool and college but lost touch for a while after we graduated from The University of North Carolina at Wilmington – me with a BA in Philosophy and him with a BA in lame ass History.  I went to the frozen hell hole of Lansing, Michigan to go to The Thomas M. Cooley Law School and he stayed in swelteringly humid North Carolina to pursue a Masters Degree at East Carolina University in Greenville to be a fucking teacher of all stupid things.  At some point while I was in Law School circa 1992, me old droog mailed me a letter.  That one letter started about a four year back and forth old school snail mail correspondence (e-mail was not really a thing yet – at least not for the masses).

These are those letters (at least the ones I received from him).  I call them – The LURCH Letters.  Enjoy.  Or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck – I do this for my own amusement.

NOTE:  Because I am a lawyer, I can tell you there is a potential legal issue here.  While I own the physical letters and may do with them what I want.  Mark technically owns the copyright.  So essentially, I should not publish them without permission.  So am I gonna ask permission?  Fuck no.  I am gonna do what I do best which is worm my way out of it by characterizing this as a simple ‘public display’ (which as owner of the letters, I am fully entitled to do) as opposed to a potential copyright violating publication.  Besides, as a general rule – “It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”  I would give you origin of this quote but it is up for debate.  Suffice to say it was NOT the brain fruit of Grace Hopper, a withered old fish lickin’ Navy Rear Admiral.  The old bat may have somewhat popularized the saying in the ’80’s but it definitely did not originate with her salty dried up old chum-stankin’ ass as some like to claim.